John Grey

I chew my bacon, eggs and cheese sandwich during my break and look at the trees. The neck within my tie can breathe because things are less than formal. It’s partially cloudy with a chance of fuck-all happening today. I am outside and the bench is, as far as I can tell, clean. I can smell the dust from the nearby jackhammer. The burly man operating it has decided to that his forehead is too sweaty and it nearly puts me off my sandwich, I turn towards the trees again and just try to listen to the whoosh of the wind. I say try, but my earplugs block all but the bassy vibrations from the jackhammer. I imagine what it would sound like without them and cringe. The eggs taste like asphalt.

**

Those logos are exactly the same. All four of them. I actually can not tell the difference - I think as I compare the two sheets on top of each-other in front of me. One. Two. One. Two. They look identical. That guy from marketing is down in the meeting room again and I have to sit in ‘cause I’m the senior supervisor. He assures me and the rest of the suits that these logos are the way into the future - there is no future, not in the sense he means it. The company is doing fine - producing X for Y without trying to go into the market of Z. Z being another company down the street. But the logo will change and nothing else will. Our strategy will always be to .. oh, another powerpoint slide. Goody. New text message - ‘up to much l8er’? I cringe at the shorthand and reply ‘No. Why?’ I stick it back into my pocket and come across my earplugs. Would they notice? Would they care? Oh, another slide? Grand! This room would be a lot nicer without that guy from marketing. Jeff? John? Something generic. I bet his parents were dull as well.

**

There’s that old lady again. She’s always here when I leave work. I hope it doesn’t start raining. That jackhammer guy is gone but the air still smells of road-work … and turnips. Must be her. There goes the boss in her car, I politely wave - she likes me. I don’t really do anything at the office but I got a raise last week, I guess I am doing my job well. The familiar buzz in my pocket says I’m popular. ‘was wonderin if u want 2 come over?’ I have nothing better to do, might as well. ‘I have nothing better to do, might as well.’ I think she’s beginning to actually like me - I hope not. My bus doesn’t stop - I wonder if what’s-his-name-generic-guy is still in, he lives close to me.

**

Oh, look, he’s trying to impress me - how very curious of him. I nod at the right times - this radio station is run by your brothers friend? - I ask not only faking curiosity but also struggling to. I think of my earplugs again. We’re off. He keeps talking so at a moment when he has to focus on traffic, I slide them in. Ah silence, theoretically. His bass system is really nice from what I can feel. If only he had any taste. He is talking, I wonder if I could pick up lip-reading. After a moment I realize that I wouldn’t want to. Why do I ever take these things out? I thank him as I get out and give him a slight wave. There’s my apartment, I turn to walk down the street and wind up at her front door. I play with my earplugs but decide to leave them in for some reason.

**

I’m in the kitchen in my boxers frying eggs. I hate these cups - who decorates their place like this. I look at the post-modern toaster. I can’t even figure out where the toast goes in. After a few moments I realize I’m looking at a box that’s supposed to be ‘art’ and then I find the toaster. At the very least, it’s Saturday. She was very quiet last night - a random thought hits me. My boss walks in but doesn’t say anything through a yawn. I park the eggs on the toast and slide them in front of her. She smiles at me and I start eating. These eggs are particularly good - they need salt.

**

These streets are incredibly quiet for this time of day. I rub my ears and discover my earplugs - I smile a little. I can feel the wind and I can swear I almost hear it but it’s all in my head. There’s a new rumbling now - the city’s waking up I think. That’s amazing, I never felt this before. Enough of this, I decide, I remove one of the earplugs and immediately regret that move. The world exploded into chaos. It’s so loud. So, in my face. So, incredibly painful. I feel a buzz. ’same time 2day?’ How can she even think that far? I walk towards my place.

**

The door locks, the lights click and the cat rubs my feet. I pry the earplugs out of my ears. I can hear the neighbors downstairs - fighting. The 20-something year old upstairs is watching porn again. I think I hear too clearly. So much noise. A familiar movement. ‘meet at 10?’. I plug myself back up - and sit on the couch. I have never appreciated subtitles as much as I do now - thank God for deaf people.

**

She’s loud and I can now hear her even with the earplugs. Maybe I should get better ones, music shops probably sell some - I do love those nails. What if I never go back to hearing normally. There’s somebody next door - watching TV. No, that’s the DVD player - shit. The dog two floors down is chewing up the sofa - I can almost see it. There’s two kids playing with trash in the side-street. I don’t want to hear this. She’s done. That means I can finish - can I?

**

I drink tea and look outside. These streets are far too loud for me. I can hear through walls. I have developed a hatred for all things mechanical. I’ve unplugged everything and it was quite tricky getting rid of the ticking clocks from the next-door/floor/house neighbors. I hope they enjoy their new digital wall clocks. The high-hiss of the TV would have driven me mad ages ago. If this was a super-power, it would be a very shitty one. I need to get out. Maybe I can submit some forms for a vacation - or permanent leave.

**

There’s the office. New earplugs and a moment of pain to replace them. When somebody sees a fat person eat a piece of cake, they laugh - I don’t anymore. I cringe in horror because I can hear everything. Everything. How did we let it get this far? I am grateful that I do not live near an airport. I don’t have the vibration function enabled on my phone anymore - I can hear the lights turn on. ‘u not coming in?’ I better reply.

**

Form filled out. I’m off. It was just one form, I can’t even imagine why anyone still stays here - most of them have vacation time, why can’t they hear what I hear. There’s that damn bench, there’s that damn new street tile. There’s the tree. Suddenly, silence - the only thing is the tree and the wind shaking it. I am confused, I am scared and for once, during these past two days, I find myself focused. I step off the pavement and walk towards the street. There’s my bus and it didn’t stop again.

**

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

**

The logos still look like shit. Jeff or whatever his name is looks at me and talks. I turn on my earpiece - my link to the world these days - and catch the tail-end of whatever he was saying. “… seeing all of those and the general surveys and peer-assessment results, what do you think of the new ones?” I look at the new but as far as I can tell still identical designs and then back at him.

“Number three looks alright.”

He nods and gets a small applause from the rest of the suits. Once he gets back into the rhythm of yammering on about whatever he’s yammering on about I slowly turn off my earpiece. A familiar buzz ’same time 2day?’ I smile and sms back ‘how about some coffee first?’ My focus is outside, on that tree - I can only hear the wind.